Adjusting your executive presence in moments of friction

Nadia, a high-potential executive at a payment processing company, was grappling with this question: what does it actually look like to lead with both authenticity and awareness? She had recently completed the Bates Executive Presence Index (ExPI™), a 360° assessment that helps leaders understand how they’re perceived across 15 facets of executive presence. → Learn more about executive presence and the Bates ExPI™ in Part 1 of this series. During our debrief, one facet stood out: Authenticity. It was one of Nadia’s highest-rated dimensions—but also the most polarizing.

| “People like that I’m direct,” she said. “But they also say I’m too direct. It feels like I can’t win. I’m either being real and upsetting people or holding back and not feeling true to myself.”

It’s a tension many leaders feel, and it becomes even harder to navigate when something goes wrong. For Nadia, that tension surfaced clearly during a recent product launch failure. Her lowest-rated ExPI™ facet, Restraint, showed up in that moment. Her response to her team was swift and emotional:

| “I can’t believe we let this happen, there will be hell to pay. What were you all thinking?”

Some team members rallied, while others shut down.

That’s when I shared a different way to think about presence—not as something fixed or all-or-nothing, but as something you can tune. The key isn’t choosing between being yourself or holding back. It’s learning to adjust your approach based on what the moment calls for, without losing your center. Nadia didn’t need to choose whether to be authentic; she needed to be thoughtful about how and when to be authentic.

What does it mean to lead with authenticity?

The term “authenticity” emerged in the business world in the 1990s - 2000s. It surged in popularity after the 2008 financial crisis, when trust in institutions and leadership sharply declined. Few leadership traits are as valued, or as misinterpreted, as Authenticity. People want to know the person behind the title to build trust and belief in the person setting the example. And yet, every move a leader makes today is more visible and risks destroying trust and belief. We’re often encouraged to ‘be ourselves’ no matter what. But that oversimplified version of authenticity assumes every situation calls for the same version of you, and that you, yourself, aren’t adaptive, evolving, and multi-dimensional. Effective leaders flex with intention. They don’t compromise who they are, but they do consider what the moment requires. Leadership presence isn’t an on/off switch, it’s a set of dials, and learning to use them well starts with understanding the difference between being real and being reactive.

Reframing executive leadership

I asked Nadia: “What if, in that difficult moment with your team, you turned the dial down on your strengths in Authenticity and Integrity and turned it up on another of your strengths, like Concern?” Within seconds, she reframed her message:

| “You’re the best team in the company. That’s why we’re so disappointed today. This hurts. But I know we’ll figure it out and come back stronger.”

Same core values, entirely different tone. And, likely, a better outcome.

How to tune your executive presence

Here’s a quick self-check to help leaders navigate tough moments:

• Pause a moment and ask yourself, “What does this situation call for?” Empathy? Curiosity? Candor?

• Am I leading with a behavior because it’s what’s needed, or just because I am comfortable with it?

• Is this a moment to leverage a strength, or to show a different side of myself?

• How can I meet the needs of the situation without compromising who I am?

Presence is about intentionality. The best leaders flex their style based on audience, stakes, and context without losing their center.

Using the dials

Think of executive presence like a soundboard:

• Dial up Concern when helping others deal with uncertainty and change

• Dial down Authenticity when it’s more important to listen and understand than push your point of view

• Dial up Vision when teams need clarity about why something is happening and inspiration to get there

• Dial down Confidence when acting quickly is less important than building consensus and commitment

The point isn’t to become someone else. It’s to show up as the best version of yourself—on purpose.

Try this: Pick one important interaction this week. Before you walk in, ask: “Which dial do I need to turn up and which one should I turn down?” Watch what happens when you lead with that level of clarity.

When we talk about executive presence, leaders often fear that we’re going to try to fit them into some sort of box where they have to look, speak, and act a certain way. The good news is this: you can be true to who you are AND be viewed as a leader with executive presence. If you can become more aware of how others perceive you and how that connects to driving business results, you can always find a way to dial up or dial down different aspects of yourself to be the best leader you can be.